Flat Earth Two Ways

This one's better than a crawdad boil at a conspiracy theory weekend retreat!

Pitch 1: (5.8 trad) travel back to a time when the Tri-camadon roamed the Tarryalls. Enjoy the well-protected starting moves, and make sure you bring a full set of Tri-cams for some

very

specific pink and black (pictured) placements later on. Let the bolt gun float right off the edge of this 1 dimension geospatial plane, and enjoy the nice ride.

Pitch 2: (5.8 sport) from the bolted belay, move immediately up and right. Pull on some nice edges, and clip before you fall into a Reddit black hole about the moon landing. Travel up over moderate terrain to a slightly thin move before a beautiful mini-roof positively puckering with chickenheads for the gobbling. Pull up, and focus on your feet at the next bolt for the crux of this pitch. Get your slab booties on, and waltz up to a nice finish pulling up over good edges to the second bolted belay that'll have you swearing those pictures of earth from space are just a Bob Ross painting jammed into a kaleidoscope.

Begin at the base of the slab directly under the black water streak on the right side of the wall. Work the cracks to the left of the water streak.

Pitch 1: Tricams! (2 pink and 1 black especially), small stoppers, and a light rack to a 0.75.

Pitch 2: 7 bolts.

There are bolted anchors on both pitches.